This is the funniest joke I’ve ever made
(Source: greatjaggi, via quagmoth)
(Source: gaia-alias)
(via jessefuckingmccree)
Humans are adorable.
Supporting evidence:
1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.
2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring
3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!
4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.
5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.
6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!
7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!
8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!
9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!
10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated
11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc
12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks
(via tastefullyoffensive)
bus stop crush😳
today i finally put together a “book” that one of my classes wrote together last year and felt it was necessary to bring back this classic not-at-all-prompted contribution from a then 7 year old: “I got stuck in a castle. I was in its jail. They did not feeded me all I had was a porta potty. I was in jail because I didn’t even know there were taxes there. Except I lied. I read a lot about England and I decided I did not want to pay taxes.”
please appreciate that this child was free to write about literally whatever she could imagine about herself time traveling and she wrote about being jailed for tax evasion in the middle ages
(Source: dracomalfoyofficial, via mothmanforever)
The horsemen joined force
- the rest of the US government:
in flames, leaking info, denying people rights, failing
- NASA:
discovery!! efficiency!! found a new place for us all to live
“When the dough is bigger than the baker.”
(Source: thenatsdorf, via thenatsdorf)
Shirt design of my hometown
A book cover, for a contest.